Cyber bullying is one of the nastiest types of bullying and it can make you feel threatened, scared and upset, especially if you don’t know who is doing it, but there are lots of things that you and your parents can do about it.

In the past, when you left school at the end of the day, you could leave the bullies behind, but these days bullies think it’s clever to send anonymous text messages or to leave abusive comments on your voicemail. They might also use their mobile phones to send spoof messages to other people which make it appear that the text has come from you.

To stay safe, the first thing to do is to make sure that you only give your mobile number to trusted family and friends.

A lot of bullying is done by ex-friends so if they’re making nuisance calls to your number it can be a good idea to get a new SIM card. It might seem unfair to have to do this but that way you can end the problem quickly.

You might think your parents or whoever cares for you will be cross if you’re having problems with your phone or on the internet, but that isn’t the case. In Bullying UK’s experience parents are not likely to take the phone away but will be concerned and want to help you to sort the problem out.

It is an offence in the UK to use the phone system to cause alarm or distress. This means that if the bullies send you threatening messages or abusive ones, they are breaking the law. There’s also an offence called ‘harassment’ so if someone keeps sending you nasty texts they could be breaking that law too. If there are lots of silent calls that can be harassment too.

There’s also something called happy slapping which is an assault filmed on a mobile phone and then sent to other people’s phones or posted on the internet.

It isn’t difficult for the police to trace the people behind these offences but they need your help to do it. Everything a bully does on their mobile phone or uploads to the internet has their digital fingerprints all over it. Even if they have withheld their phone number!

The first thing your parents or carer need to do is to look at the messages so save them and don’t delete them. Sometimes they might be embarassing, the sender might say that you are gay, or mention rumours of things which are not true, perhaps that you’ve done something really wrong that you wouldn’t want anyone else to know about. Often they make things up based on secrets you’ve told them in the past.

It’s tempting to reply to messages and if you get angry that can lead to a flame war. Bullies enjoy winding you up so don’t give them the satisfaction of showing you are upset or losing your temper.

Show the texts or voicemails to your parents or carer and tell them a bit about what’s been going on. If the calls are very unpleasant then they need to take the phone to the police station and make a complaint. The police can contact your mobile phone company to get a list of the numbers that have called your phone. You may not know who they are but they’re not as anonymous as they thought they were!

Bullying UK has had complaints about spoof abusive texts which appear to have been sent from a particular mobile phone number when they have been sent through internet websites and not from a mobile phone. If you are accused of sending a message when you know you haven’t done so then the police can check with your mobile phone provider to clear your name. This is very rare but unfortunately it does happen.

In most cases people who make abusive calls are warned off and that does the trick. If they’re stupid enough to keep doing it then they may be cautioned if they admit an offence or in serious cases of happy slapping assault they could end up in court.

Most mobile phone operators will let you block calls from withheld numbers or from numbers you don’t want to call you so if you’re starting to have trouble phone customer services and ask their advice about whether there is anything you can do to stop the problem getting worse.

Bullying by mobile or the internet is often part of a bigger picture so if you’re upset by this you don’t have to put up with it on your own. There is lots of practical advice and help for you and your parents or carer on the Bullying UK website at www.bullying.co.uk. There’s also advice for schools and youth organisations.

Bullying UK